worst day of my life

A couple of months ago I stood in Tucson International Airport and left my heart with my best friend. I remember that day so perfectly. I cried most of the way to the airport, the entire time I was checking in and getting my ticket, and 20 feet from the security check point.



I was a complete and total mess. I remember Jakob holding on to me so tight, whispering over and over how much he loved me and how we would see each other again. I wanted so badly to be strong for him, but I just couldn't pull myself together. I just wanted to stay there with him forever. The time was flying by too fast, and I knew I needed to go through security still and get to my appropriate terminal, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't walk away from him.

We both knew I needed to go, but neither one of us wanted to say goodbye. I wanted Jakob to be the one to walk away. I didn't want to do it. We ended up trying to walk away from each other at the same time. I thought it would be easier, but the truth is... it sucked just as much. I remember walking up to the man at the security check point, not wondering if the man thought I was crazy for having a melt down in front of him, but wondering instead if my heart could handle turning around and looking to see if Jakob was still there. I probably shouldn't have, butI did. It made me cry a so much more, but I will forever have that image of Jakob blowing me a kiss and signing "I love you."



That day was the hardest day of my life, but I wouldn't take any of it back. None of the tears, feelings of being alone, or the aching of my heart. These things have all made me stronger.

I know someday Jakob and I will be together again. And I will never have to say goodbye to him. Until that day, I will continue to hold on to our many memories. I will dream of our future and our lives together. And I will be "strong like bull."

He is my best friend and forever will be. I love him with all of my heart, every fiber of my being, and so much more.